Q. It seems to me that mothers should be at home taking care of the children instead of working outside the home. What do the Scriptures teach on this subject?

A. The news media reports that more and more women are working outside the home,and that millions of "latch-key" children come home to an empty house. There is good reason to be concerned.

However, we should be careful to find a view that is biblically balanced and compassionate. Many women are struggling valiantly to keep the home together against great odds. Some are working to help their husbands support the family, and some, contrary to their greatest desires, are shouldering the entire load as single parents.

In applying the Scripture to issues of Christian living, we need to remember the church council that is recorded in the Book of Acts (15:5-29). The lesson of this church council is that Christianity is not to be a matter of legalistic rules. Instead, we must look to broad biblical principles for guidance in making decisions that pertain to particular situations.

For instance, there is the law of love. Christians are to love God and to love neighbor (Matt. 22:37-40). Jesus said that all of the Law of the Old Testament was based on these two commandments.

Thus, the law of love must be our guide in determining a biblical position on working mothers (Rom. 13:8; Gal. 5:14; and James 2:8).

God has commanded parents to bring up their children in the "nurture and admonition of the Lord" (Eph. 6:4). Loving God means obeying Him (John 14:15). So, bringing up children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is one way of loving God.

Thus, the mother who is considering working outside the home, or the father who is encouraging her to work outside the home, should consider how this work would affect parenting.

If working outside the home means neglecting biblical nurture and admonition, and working outside the home can be avoided, then it is sinful for her to work outside the home. The mother (and the father, if there is a father in the home) should consider the reasons for her working outside the home. If the reason is covetousness, then it would be sinful for her to work outside the home.

Some women are working to supplement the family income because one (or both) of the parents is undisciplined in spending. Or, perhaps they don't know how to manage money.

It may well be a spiritual problem. Many women would be able to stay at home with the family if the family would learn to economize and to "do without" (see ).

If the mother's motive for working outside the home is to provide for her own, rather than being dependent on governmental aid, then her working outside the home can be a godly example to the children, and a valuable part of parenting (1 Tim. 5:8).

Of course, she will need to use every opportunity to be a biblical parent in the time that she has with her children.

She can even use her lack of time to do for the children as an opportunity to develop responsibility and helpfulness in the children. She can use this opportunity to teach them to have the heart of a servant (Matt. 20:27). Whether she works away from home or not, she must not become a servant to them, allowing them to be self-indulgent.

Some Christians who own businesses or manufacturing companies might be able to provide jobs in which mothers would start work after the children are in school (or are on the school bus) and be back home when the children are out of school.

It is likely that a shorter workday would increase overhead costs for the employer; and so employer and employee should be governed by the law of love in determining, and in being content with, wage levels.

The woman who works in the home all day has an opportunity to do many things to save money.

In contrast, the woman who works outside the home does not have either the time or the energy to do everything that can be done to economize. Further, she has expenses such as clothing, transportation, and/or child care that devour much of the money that she makes working outside the home.

Another way for a mother to fulfill her parental role and still help with the family income is finding an opportunity to make money in the home. This is the way that the woman of many virtues made money for her family's needs (Prov. 31:10-31).

However, some labor laws, health laws and zoning laws, national and/or local, limit the kinds of work that can be done in the home. Some of these laws are contrary to the good of the family and should be changed.

An ideal way for parents to meet financial needs, and at the same time fulfill their parental responsibilities, is to establish a home business.

A home business is a modern day continuation of the principle of the family farm or family store. It provides an opportunity: 1) for the mother to be with the children; 2) for the father to have a more active part in parenting, including home schooling; and 3) for the children to be a part of the family business, learning to work and learning to be a responsible part of society (see ).

Another way for mothers to stay home with their children is for the family to build a house, if able. This can cut the monthly house payment and/or reduce the number of years required to pay for a home.

If a family finances a home on a $50,000 home mortgage for 25 years at ten percent, and makes monthly payments of $454.35 (excluding taxes), then the total cost of the house (principal plus interest) will be $136,305.46.

In contrast, if they do most of the construction work themselves, finance $25,000 at ten percent, and make monthly payments of $415.03, then the total cost of $34,862.52 will be paid in seven years-and they will have saved $101,442.94 in interest!

What an opportunity! The mother can stay home with the children and still help her husband save perhaps $100,000.

Even children at the ages of five or six can help by picking up scraps of wood. Older children and Mom can help in varying degrees--with the parents always being careful to protect the children from danger.

The benefits to the family of working together in home construction are similar to those outlined for a home business.

Working together in home construction or in a home business are two ways to unite the family in a common purpose.

Many families will find that society puts obstacles in the way of family home construction and/or home business in which the children participate.

The children's school, whether public or private, may schedule so many activities and put so much pressure on the children to participate that the children do not have time to be of help at home. In fact, they may not even have time to care for their own needs, much less have time to help the family.

Further, the need to transport the children to their activities may even seriously limit the parents' time that is available for home construction.

In like manner, the local church, through overly ambitious programs, may hamper the family in a cooperative effort to build their home, as well as in other efforts to build the family as the central unit of society. Be aware of these potential problem areas. Self-help home construction projects also provide an opportunity for Christians to show their love for one another.

Some Christian groups make it a practice of helping one another in home (as in barn) construction. However, in many church groups, and with many individuals, it will be necessary to reevaluate priorities and to de-emphasize self-indulgent activities (some are even called "Christian fellowship") if the people are to love one another in this way.

Working mothers? Follow them around at home all day, and you will see. Or try to do their work for a day, and you will understand. Mothers are supposed to work and they do. But how can they best utilize their efforts?

There are several questions for each family to consider. Is it really necessary for the mother to work outside the home? Can the other family members help reduce the need for extra finances? Can she reduce the costs of running the household by more efficiently doing her job? Can she help the family finances by creative activities in the home? Can she work outside the home and still obey the commandment to bring up the children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord?

What are the most godly uses for the mother's time and efforts? How can she be the best servant to, and ambassador for, her Savior? How can she have the most godly influence, first to her own family, and then in her church and in her community?

Return to Q&A Counseling Articles Index

Return to Home Page