Q. I am a Christian, but I fell into sin. A Christian organization accepted me as I was and also gave me a position as an assistant director. How can you advocate church discipline for someone like me? I needed acceptance, not rejection.

A. Much is being said today about "acceptance," so there is a need to find biblical scope on the subject.

The world teaches that no one should criticize the "moral choices" of others; rather, everyone is entitled to "unconditional acceptance," without regard to his/her "life-style."

It is clear that sinful behavior should not be acceptable to Christians. However, the problem for Christians is determining how to deal with those whose behavior is sinful.

Some Christians are seeking to separate the sin from the sinner, rejecting the sin but accepting the sinner. They see showing an "unconditional acceptance" of the sinner as being a Christlike love.

Some use the term "unconditional love" to refer to this "unconditional acceptance" of others.

Some Christians say that God "accepted us" and showed us unconditional love while we were yet sinners.

It is true that God loved us and gave His Son for us while we were yet sinners (Rom. 5:8), but He could not accept us. Instead, without the death of His Son on the cross, He had no other choice but to banish us from His presence forever (Rom. 6:23). His love in giving His Son was unconditional, but His acceptance was, and is, conditional upon sinners accepting His Son as their Savior (John 3:36).

So, "unconditional love" and "unconditional acceptance" are separate and distinct concepts.

Did this Christian organization that "accepted" you, love you enough to help you get back into fellowship with God? Or did they merely accept you, and in "accepting" you deprive you of the blessing of being restored to fellowship with God?

Did this Christian organization that "accepted" you, love you enough to insist that you return to your local church and get back into fellowship there? Or did they merely accept you, and in "accepting" you deprive you of the joy of being restored to fellowship with your local church?

Biblical church discipline is love that attacks a problem, rather than wishing that the problem, or the person, would go away. It is love that attempts to restore the sinning believer, loving him too much to ignore the problem, and loving him too much to wish merely that he would quit attending "our" church and take his problems elsewhere.

Church discipline shows love for Christ. Jesus said, "If ye love me, keep my commandments" (14:15). Loving God includes following biblical teaching on church discipline.

Church discipline is love in action. It seeks to magnify Christ and His church, rather than allowing Him to be blasphemed and the church to be ridiculed through acts of unrepentant believers who have not been subjected to church discipline.

Thus, church discipline, if performed biblically, is an expression of "unconditional love" for Christ and for the sinning believer. This "unconditional love" is shown by taking steps with goals of bringing glory to God, and bringing sinning Christians back into fellowship with God and with their local churches, if at all possible.

If the sinning Christian will not repent, then after giving him ample opportunity, and with great regret, "unconditional love" for him, "unconditional love" for Christ, and obedience to biblical teaching, requires that the unrepentant sinner not be "accepted unconditionally."

Instead, the Scriptures teach a step in church discipline in which: 1) the sinning Christian is identified to the congregation as a whole, 2) members of the congregation are to admonish him, 3) he is not allowed to take communion, and 4) other Christians are not to eat with him or fellowship with him (1 Cor. 5:11; 2 Thess. 3:6,14,15).

The steps of church discipline are gentle initially, but become more firm as time goes on if there is no positive response.

If all other attempts fail, biblical church discipline results in the unrepentant sinner's being considered as an unbeliever, being taken off the membership roles, and being turned over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh with the goal that his spirit will yet be protected in the day of the Lord (1 Cor. 5:5).

Biblical church discipline restricts the knowledge of the offense to the smallest number possible, in accordance with the principles of Matthew 18 (vv. 15-17). The circle of knowledge should be limited to those who are: 1) a part of the problem, 2) a part of the solution to the problem, and 3) affected by the problem.

Limiting the circle of knowledge to these three categories precludes gossiping, and may preclude disclosing the problem to others for good purposes--even prayer. Remember, "the effectual, fervent prayer of a righteous man [singular] availeth much" (James 5:16).

The pastor, or someone else, should first go alone and attempt to restore the sinning Christian to fellowship with God (and with other believers, if such is needed). If this first step fails, then he should take one or two others with him. If these are not successful, then he should take the problem to the official board and attempt to bring the sinning Christian to repentance, without the necessity of taking the matter to the congregation as a whole.

However, if the sin is known to the entire congregation, or if it will become known to the entire congregation, then the matter must be settled before the entire congregation.

If the sin has caused the name of Christ to be blasphemed, then the church must be ready and willing to tell any unbelievers who mock Christianity: 1) that Jesus died for sinners, 2) that every Christian's life falls far short of God's perfect holiness and His requirements for entry into heaven, 3) that no believer would get to heaven if it were not for the intercession of Jesus for his sins, and 4) that Jesus has paid for all of the sins of everyone, including the unbeliever who is criticizing Christianity.

The church must be ready to tell any unbeliever that the sinning Christian has repented and has been restored to fellowship with God and with the congregation, or that the person has been disciplined by the church and that the church is even yet praying for him, whichever is the case.

So, church discipline can be an opportunity, not only to restore a sinning Christian to fellowship with God and to purify the church, but also an opportunity to answer those who mock Christianity, and an opportunity to tell of God's love and the gift of His Son for sinners.

Restoration to fellowship with the local church includes receiving forgiveness from the members of the congregation.

Generally, forgiving another includes acting as if the offense has been forgotten. However, there are exceptions to this principle.

For the church to act as if the offense has been forgotten, rather than requiring biblical counseling when such is needed, would not be showing love for the repentant believer who has been forgiven and restored to fellowship.

For the church to act as if the offense had been forgotten when restitution needs to be made, would not be showing love for the repentant believer who has been forgiven and restored to fellowship.

It would be foolish to reinstate a forgiven believer to a position of trust that he has violated, especially if a child has been harmed, without first providing a time period in which the forgiven and restored believer can prove himself trustworthy. Also, reinstating him prematurely might provide such a temptation to fall again that it would constitute putting a stumbling block in his path.

Further, forgiveness and restoration to fellowship are not the same as being biblically qualified for a position of service, leadership or trust in the local church.

The Scriptures teach that even those who serve tables in the church are to have a good reputation (Acts 6:1-3). This means that the church cannot act as if it has forgotten the restored believer's offense when filling any position of service in which the person appears to be officially representing the church.

The Christian organization that accepted you, believed that you would make a faithful worker, and they gave you an opportunity to prove yourself. Superficially this sounds good. However, from reading your letter, their action appears to have been contrary to biblical teaching.

Instead of giving you a position of leadership, that Christian organization should have directed you to a place, preferably your local church, that would have 1) helped you to be restored to fellowship with God and with fellow believers (church discipline), 2) provided biblical counseling to help you to solve problems in your life and to look to God, rather than man, for "acceptance," 3) provided a discipleship training program to help you to grow in your Christian life, and 4) encouraged you to become biblically eligible for Christian service in the future.

Do you see that church discipline is love in action, working to help those who are not succeeding in their Christian walk?

Does your church show "unconditional love" for sinning members by utilizing church discipline as a means of restoring them to fellowship with God, and as a means of helping them succeed in their Christian walk?

If not, first make a careful study of the principles of church discipline. Then study Church Discipline and the Courts by Buzzard and Brandon (Tyndale House) so that you can practice church discipline "decently and in order" (1 Cor. 14:40).

When the membership understands church discipline as a way to show "unconditional love" for straying members, and has a plan for practicing church discipline "decently and in order," you are ready to love God, and to love sinning believers, by practicing church discipline.

Church discipline is biblical, necessary, and one way of showing love.

Another way of showing love is helping believers to be successful in their Christian walk and thus avoiding problems that require church discipline. Too often, new believers start their Christian life with joy and enthusiasm, and later encounter failure and despair.

Churches can love their members by providing a discipleship training program that teaches biblical principles for living the Christian life, and by providing a helper to walk alongside them (see ).

Churches can love their members by providing a counseling pastor who is as faithful to the Word, and who is as knowledgeable of the Word, as is the senior pastor--a helper who can provide biblical counseling for those who are failing in their Christian walk.

Love them enough to help them be successful in their Christian walk, love them enough to restore them when they fall. This is Christ-like unconditional love.

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