HOW DO YOU SEE YOURSELF?=+
What can be done by a Christian who has a poor self-image?=+
by=+
Wendell E. Miller=++

Q. I am saved; and yet I have a poor self-image. Shouldn't a
Christian have a good self-image? What can I do to develop a
better self-image?=++

A. Self-image is the evaluation that a person makes of
himself in comparison to some standard, or the way that he
has come to think about himself habitually.=++

A person's self-image may be good or bad. In contrast, the
theory of "self-love" teaches that a person should "accept
himself," "feel good.. about himself," or feel that he is a
"significant" person, without regard to his behavior.=++

It is important to remember that the Scriptures do not teach
that it is necessary to love oneself in order to love
others (see "Is `Self-Love' the Answer?" in the Q&A Counseling Articles index).  Instead, the self-love that the world teaches as
being necessary in order to love others is condemned by the
Scriptures (2 Tim. 3:2).=++

Some Christians, in combating the erroneous teachings of
"self-love," and in an attempt to help Christians who have a
poor self-image, teach that a Christian should not even have
a self-image. This idea comes from a misunderstanding of the
command to deny oneself (Mark 8:34). Of course, to deny
oneself means to deny self-will (the personal will that
opposes God's will).=++

If a Christian is to have no self-image, how can he evaluate
his performance against God's standard, and how will he know
what to change in his life?=++

Some who teach the "no self-image" doctrine, say that
everything that believers do is totally of God, because we
can do nothing without Him (John 15:5).=++

But the Apostle Paul had truth in balance when he
acknowledged both the enabling power of God in his life and
his own efforts (1 Cor. 15:10). He evaluated his work, gave
credit to God, and gave himself a good grade too. He had a
good self-image (2 Tim. 4:7).=++

Jesus, the only perfect man, had a self-image; so it cannot
be wrong to have a self-image. He evaluated His life; and He
told others that He measured up to the perfect standard. He
said, "l do always those things that please him." (John
8:29).=++

Perhaps the most complete teaching on self-image is in
Romans 12. Notice the order of the teaching: 1) presenting
(v. 1) one's body a living sacrifice, 2) developing (v. 2) a
renewed mind that can determine the will of God, and 3)
evaluating (v. 3) personal performance in the light of the
will of God (v. 2) and individual talents or gifts (v.
3).=++

Thus, the basis for the Christian's self-image is a
self-evaluation of personal performance in comparison to
gifts or talents that God has given him ("according as God
hath dealt to every man the measure of faith"--Rom. 12:3)
and his knowledge of the will of God that comes with a
renewed mind.=++

When a Christian has a poor self-image, it may be an
accurate self-evaluation of his Christian walk, and it may
be that God is working through his conscience to promote
biblical changes. God wants to say, "Well done, thou good
and faithful servant," at the Judgment Seat of Christ. So,
in His goodness and love, God wants sinning Christians to
hurt badly enough to change.=++

However, some Christians have a poor self-image that is not
an accurate self-evaluation. Often the primary reason for
their poor self-image is that they have a worldly value
system by which they measure themselves.=++

The world says that you must be wealthy, powerful,
beautiful, intelligent, an outstanding musician, a good
athlete, some type of prominent person, or you just do not
measure up. After being raised in the influence of the
world, which often includes large daily doses of TV, many
Christians develop this same value system. Their idea of
importance (and consequently what is required for a good
self-image) is almost identical to that which the world
teaches.=++

In addition, too often, individual Christians, parents, the
church and parachurch organizations unwittingly teach the
same worldly value system.=++

Christian parents can help by modelling and teaching a
biblical value system. But if parents have a worldly value
system, most likely their children will develop a worldly
value system too.=++

The church and parachurch organizations can help by: 1)
teaching a biblical value system, 2) deemphasizing (putting
into biblical perspective) things of the world (even
sports), and 3) avoiding the trap of unintentionally
teaching a worldly value system (for instance, using people
of worldly prominence, or using worldly programs as "bait"
for accomplishing good goals).=++
Another cause of a poor self-image in children, and later
when they become adults, is nonacceptance of their childhood
accomplishments by their parents. If parents are
perfectionists and their child grows up not being able to
please his parent, he may grow up thinking that he is
inferior (a poor self-image).=++

The work of a child should be judged on the abilities of
that child and his physical and mental development. A child
of five years should be expected to make his bed like a
five-year-old makes a bed, not like an adult.=++

Many who have been raised without having their parents'
approval of their deeds also have a problem in being able to
believe that they can please God.=++

God does not expect a five-year-old child to make a bed like
an adult and He does not expect babes in Christ to achieve
perfection in their walk in a day. Of course, this does not
mean that He approves of sinful behavior. Instead, it means
that He is pleased with progressive growth. He is pleased
every time that a Christian says "no" to temptation, and He
is pleased when there is repentance and confession of
sins.=++

One evening a teacher was teaching the two-and-three-year-
old children about Noah and the ark. He gave the children
crayons to color a picture of the ark and pictures of
animals to stick on the picture. The parents were pleased
when they saw the work of their toddlers, even though some
of the elephants, giraffes and tigers were upside down in
the air above the ark. I believe that God was pleased with
their work too!=++

If you have a poor (but accurate) self-image because your
performance is poor in comparison to the opportunities and
talents that God has given you, then make biblical
changes.=++

If you have a poor (but inaccurate) self-image based on
worldly standards, then develop your spiritual life (Rom.
12:1), let God transform your value system (Rom. 12:2), and
then rate yourself accurately (Rom. 12:3).=++

Accept and develop the gifts that God has given you--it is
not likely that God has gifted you to do all things well. He
wants to say "well done" as you develop your gifts to His
glory.=++

Some who have not had parental approval have a problem of
not approving of their own work. Remember God is pleased if
you did the job for Him, and if you did it in accordance
with your abilities (whether or not you are pleased with the
quality of your work). And if He is pleased, you should be
too.=++

Perhaps you do not "feel" that you can please God, or you do
not "feel" that you do please Him, even though you believe
that your performance is relatively satisfactory in
accordance with your abilities and opportunities.=++

If this is your problem, select one project each day
(perhaps a simple duty that you do every day) and dedicate
it to God. Use these steps:=+
1) Pray and dedicate the job to God;=+
2) Do the job with the speed, accuracy, etc. that would
please God, and with the attitude that you are doing it to
please Him (heartily as unto the Lord--see Col. 3:23,24);
and=+
3) Pray and tell God that:=+
a) you did it for Him,=+
b) you did a good job, and=+
c) you know (intellectually) that He is pleased (Micah
6:8).=++

Another source of problems with self-image is nothing more
than self-centeredness, including selfishness and pride. As
an antidote, love God (dedicate yourself to doing God's
will), and love your neighbor (dedicate yourself to doing
good for your neighbor) in like manner as you are already
looking out for your own interests (Matt. 22:37-39).=++

Now, a word of warning about undue introspection. Some
Christians become too introspective. Make those changes that
God is urging you to make, concentrate on pleasing God and
serving others, and have confidence in God's promise that He
is going to continue working in your life to bring you to
spiritual maturity (Phil. 1:6). Live with confidence in
Him!=++

If there are things in your life that displease God, then
you should be displeased with that part of your life. But,
if God is pleased with your overall spiritual growth, then
you should be pleased with yourself (have a good self-image)
as you strive to more perfectly do His will.=++

Copyright 1986 by Wendell E. Miller=+
Downloaded from http://www.biblical-counsel.org=++

May be reprinted and distributed in quantities if distributed free or at cost, and if=+
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