HOW CAN I TEACH CONTENTMENT?=+
Your children are being affected=+
by all the discontentment in our world.=+
by=+
Wendell E. Miller=++

Q. I see so much discontent, especially in our younger
generation. How can parents, grandparents and others help
children and young people find contentment?=++

A. When studying a given subject in the Scriptures, quite
often it is helpful to study words that are similar in
meaning and words that are opposite in meaning.=++

"Satisfied" is the word most similar in meaning to
"content," and "covet" is the word that is the nearest to
being opposite.=++

Thus, the tenth commandment (Deut. 5:21; Ex. 20:17)
commanded the Israelites to be content with what they had,
as well as prohibited covetousness.=++

As Christians, we are commanded to be "content" with such
things as we have (Heb. 13:5). So, since coveting is
opposite to being content, we are commanded not to covet
anything that we do not have.=++

Now if we are commanded to be content (and we are), then
there must be a biblical way to be, or to become, content;
and also, there must be a way to help other Christians to be
content.=++

The Apostle Paul said that he "learned" to be content (Phil.
4:11). The idea behind the word translated "learned" is to
"learn something appropriate for oneself through experience
or practice." In some way, he had learned contentment
through experiences--experiences of having and experiences
of doing without.=++

In the next verse, he said that he learned the "secret" (KJV
"I am instructed") of living in humble means and living in
prosperity (Phil. 4:12).=++

What "secret" could there be in living in abundance or in
deprivation? You either have an abundance or you do not. You
either suffer deprivation or you do not. So what is the
"secret"?=++

The "secret" must be in being content with such things as
you have. At least one translation of the Scriptures (New
International Version) includes this meaning in the
translation of Philippians 4:12.=++

The "secret" into which he was initiated in verse 12 must be
related to his statement in verse 13, in which he says, "I
can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."=++

This spiritual strengthening includes two components, both
of which are "through Christ."=++

One of these components of spiritual strengthening is the
reality of the blessings that are "through Christ." These
realities include His promise never to leave us nor forsake
us (Heb. 13:5), being joint-heirs with Him (Rom. 8:17), and
the rewards that we will receive (1 Cor. 3:11-15).=++

The other component of this strengthening "through Christ"
is the realization of the reality of these blessings, as the
Holy Spirit witnesses to the truth of scriptural
promises.=++

Since the Scriptures teach that contentment is learned by
experiences (Phil. 4:11) and by spiritual "strengthening,"
it is appropriate to consider how parents, grandparents,
church and others can help children and youth learn to be
content.=++

One of the most important principles of child rearing is
modeling. Students become like their teachers (Luke 6:40).
So if our children and youth are to know that spiritual
realities are more important than things of the world, and
if they are to develop Christian contentment, is it not
critical that we model these things for them?=++

In order for them to know that spiritual realities are more
important than things of the world, children and youth need
a biblical view of life. You can help them develop a
biblical view of life by teaching them the Scriptures and by
applying biblical truths to every aspect of their lives
(Deut. 6:7).=++

But the influence and teaching of the world must be
minimized. What view of life do you expect them to develop
if they live in a fantasy world of affluence, glamour and
excitement by watching television, or if they listen to the
message of rock music?=++

Since contentment is learned, in part. from experiencing a
lack of things (Phil. 4:11), will we not rob children and
youth of opportunities to learn contentment if we give them
too much?=++

Parents, together with your church, should you determine
wage scales for children and youth that are in accordance
with their various ages and that are reasonable in
comparison to adult wages? If you, or good-hearted friends,
pay them excessively, will you not be planting the seeds of
future discontent?=++

Children and youth should learn to be good stewards of their
earnings (and of suitable things they purchase with their
earnings), in Christian giving, in savings, and in
progressively assuming responsibility for their own needs.
Will it not be difficult for them to learn contentment
later, if all of their earnings are lavished upon themselves
now and they develop an insatiable appetite for things of
the world?=++

Children and youth should learn to be content as they go
through various stages of development toward adulthood; and
so they should not be given adult experiences (even though
they are "experiences that they will never forget"). If they
are given adult experiences now, how can they be satisfied
with ordinary childhood or youth experiences next year, or
the next? And how can they be satisfied with life as adults
if they have seen it all, had it all, and experienced it
all?=++

Jesus taught that the one who desires to be "great" must be
the servant (KVF "minister") of others, and the one who
desires to be "first" must be the slave (KVF "servant") of
those he leads (Matt. 20:25-28). Should not training for
service precede training for leadership?=++

So children and youth should be given opportunities in the
church to learn servanthood. They should visit the widows,
rake their lawns, and clean out their eaves troughs.=++

If we thrust them into leadership experiences before they
learn to serve, or if we give them exciting missionary
experiences before they have proved themselves to be
faithful in small things--and progressively in larger
things--will they develop the heart of a servant, and will
they be content to do common and ordinary things? Or will
they be discontent? Will they be lifted up with vanity and
pride? Do not the Scriptures warn against putting novices in
leadership positions (1 Tim. 3:6)?=++

Three of the most important objectives of training children
and youth in Christian service should be for them to 1)
bring glory to God (Matt. 5:16), 2) learn how to serve Him,
and 3) learn to be satisfied with pleasing Him (Col.
3:23,24). So should not children and youth serve in the
church quietly and without fanfare, lest they learn to crave
the praise of men more than the praise of God (John
12:43)?=++

In Christianity, there should be thoughtfulness of others,
cooperation and the desire to help others win too, rather
than a desire to win over others. The Apostle Paul said
(paraphrased), "I am running for a crown; I want you to have
one too; so run that you may obtain a crown" (1 Cor.
9:24-26)! If we attempt to motivate children and youth by
offering them awards and trophies for winning over others,
will it not develop a competitive spirit in them, and will
it not tempt them to covet?=++

When Christians must compete with others, and some must win
and others must lose, then the competition should be entered
into "heartily as unto the Lord" (Col. 3:23,24). It should
not be an occasion of coveting after personal glory, but of
using, for His glory, those talents with which we have been
entrusted. The result should be contentment, in winning or
in losing, knowing that we did it for Him, and knowing that
He is pleased with our efforts and with our attitude.=++

We have seen from the Scriptures that contentment is
learned, partially by experiencing a lack of at least some
worldly or materialistic desires, and partially by coming to
a full realization of the reality of our eternal blessings
in Christ.=++

In addition we have considered the relationship between
seeking after personal glory and finding contentment by
doing everything to the glory of God (Col. 3:23,24).
Although this principle is not taught explicitly as being a
source of contentment, the Scriptures relate happiness (KV
"blessed") to a life that pleases God (Ps. 1:1).=++

We have considered some possible relationships between
contentment and such things as material possessions, wages,
exciting experiences, opportunities for service vs.
opportunities for leadership, learning to obtain pleasure
from pleasing God rather than from obtaining the acclaim of
men, and competition.=++

If, through your example (modeling) and your teaching of the
Scriptures children and youth are finding salvation through
faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, you are helping them find
great riches.=++

Your example (modeling) and your teaching can also help
children and youth find the contentment that should
accompany salvation. What steps can you take to model and to
teach those things that will help them find contentment in a
restless and mixed-up world?=++

Copyright 1986 by Wendell E. Miller=+
Downloaded from http://www.biblical-counsel.org=++

May be reprinted and distributed in quantities if distributed free or at cost, and if=+
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