Q. How can Christians ventilate their anger? I have read that both emotional and physical problems can result from anger that is held inside. Some say that anger should be ventilated by such actions as beating a pillow. Is it true that feelings must be ventilated? If so, how should Christians ventilate their feelings?

A. Some medical authorities say that incorrect handling of stressful situations can cause any one of at least 50 physical diseases. The medical term for physical ailments that start in the mind as stress and that result in real physical ailments is "psychosomatic." The word "psychosomatic" is the combination of the Greek words for "mind" and "body."

The secular idea behind ventilating feelings is that getting the feelings outside of the person and so alleviating the emotional pressure that is within will prevent psychosomatic illness and promote "mental health."

There are at least three problems with ventilating feelings by "taking them out" on an inanimate object. First, "taking feeling out" on inanimate objects develops a habit (of temper tantrums) that may eventually result in the destruction of property. Second, violent action against an inanimate object may be accompanied by thoughts of violent action against a person (murder in the heart). Third, the habit of striking an inanimate object when angry, coupled with the sin of imagining violence against a person, may eventually result in physical violence against a person.

Others are teaching verbal ventilation of emotions; and, amazingly, even some Christians are teaching that such emotions as anger and hatred should be expressed freely!

I recall a news item about a man who had cursed a police officer. His defense was that he needed to ventilate his feelings because it was physically harmful for him to hold his negative feelings inside.

Apparently he believed that he was justified in verbally wounding another person for his own good. According to this way of thinking, the police officer would have been entitled to go home and verbally attack his wife in order to ventilate the hurts that he had received. Then she would have been entitled to ventilate her feelings on someone else. On and on it would go, each one verbally wounding another for his own "good."

There are at least four problems with Christians ventilating their feelings by expressing anger and hatred. For one thing, Christians are commanded to speak the truth in love (Eph. 4:15), that is, to say those things that are best for the other person. Second, angry words often are contrary to the command to be kind one to the other (Eph. 4:32). Also, angry words can be harmful to others (Prov. 12:18). Finally, angry words are selfish when there is a willingness to inflict injury on another for the (supposed) benefit of self.

So, Christians must not ventilate their feelings by physically "taking them out" on an inanimate object or by verbally lashing out at another person.

What can a Christian do to ventilate his feelings of anger? Is there a Christian way to ventilate feelings of anger?

To answer these questions, it is necessary to consider whether or not anger is sinful. Ephesians 4:26 says, "Be angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath."

Some are teaching that this is a command to be angry--"be angry and get it out of your system."

A better interpretation of the command in Ephesians 4:26 is, "All right, so you have angry feelings. Do not act sinfully because of your angry feelings, but take appropriate action promptly."

Angry feelings are like other types of emotions--they are not volitional. If you are angry, you are angry; if you are happy, you are happy; and if you are sad, you are sad. You cannot control the way that you feel by direct, volitional control.

Emotions are like thermometers, meters or gauges that indicate what is going on mentally inside a person, or what has gone on mentally inside of him.

The emotion of anger is like a pressure gauge that indicates the total pressure in a tank. This pressure in the tank indicates the total anger in the person, whether caused by a single reaction to another person or situation, or whether caused by an accumulation of reactions.

Angry feelings may be a righteous reaction to evil, just as Jesus was angry at the money changers in the temple (John 2:17).

Jesus took appropriate and remedial action when He drove the money changers out of the temple (John 2:15). There are times when Christians should take appropriate remedial action when angry.

However, Christians must be careful that such actions are legal, remedial, and appropriate and, most of all, glorifying to God (Isa. 43:7). Remember, it was His Father's house (John 2:16). He had a right to drive out the money changers.

Angry feelings may result from an offense that is received from another. Some might believe that angry feelings must be sinful when they occur in response to an offense that is received from another; but Ephesians 4:26 distinguishes both refraining from sinful behavior and the time element in the handling of the feeling of anger (let not the sun go down on your wrath) as the factors related to sin, not the source of the feeling of anger.

When the pressure gauge shows that the feeling of anger is in the danger area, and that there is danger of exploding in verbal or physical attack, the first requirement is self-control.

If a man is given a tongue lashing by his boss, it is likely that he will exert self-control and restrain himself both in word and deed. However, when he gets home, he may take out his anger on his wife; and later he may tell his counselor that he cannot control himself when he hits his wife. It is interesting that he can control himself when the failure to do so would be to his detriment, and that he "cannot" control himself when the victim of his ventilation is defenseless.

The teaching that all, whether believer or unbeliever, are personally responsible for self-control and must exercise self-control is taught by the Scriptures, calling those things sin that transgress God's commandments, and shows the reality of judgment of both believers and unbelievers (2 Cor. 5:10; Rev. 20:11,12).

Then, while exerting self-control, the cause of the angry feelings should be handled biblically.

Ephesians 4:26 says that you should not let the sun go down on your wrath. Some say that this means that you should solve the problem of wrath by communications before bedtime.

If there has been a misunderstanding, and it can be resolved by talking through the problem with the other person(s), good! However, the idea that problems always can be solved by communications, or that problems always can be solved by communications before bedtime, denies the sin nature of humanity, and denies the reality of the old nature in the believer.

Of course, if by communications one person asks the other for forgiveness, forgiveness must be granted (Matt. 18:21,22 and Luke 17:3-4). Then the angry feelings will be decreased, or even eliminated, in the one who grants forgiveness.

So, horizontal forgiveness--one person asking for forgiveness, and the other granting forgiveness--is one way that both believers and unbelievers can ventilate their feelings of anger.

However, for Christians, not letting the sun go down on one's wrath does not depend upon communications. Even if the other person is far away or is not willing to talk about the problem or will not ask forgiveness, the believer can still be obedient to the command of Mark 11:25 to forgive*.

Notice in Mark 11:25 that forgiveness is commanded any time--and at the very time--that an offense is remembered. The offender may be a great distance away, may not be repentant, and may even be rejoicing in his iniquity and planning more mischief. The offense may have occurred today, yesterday or many years ago. God's command is to forgive (release it to God) upon the occasion of remembering the offense.

Ventilating feelings of anger by the prayer of forgiveness can be practiced by any Christian at any time, at any place, under any circumstances, and for any and all offenses. It can be done without regard to "wanting to" and without regard to the intensity of angry feelings. To refuse God's command to forgive is rebelling against Him.

Praying and turning the penalty of the offense over to God (Rom. 12:19) is an act of obedience to a command of God; it is an act of love for God (John 14:15).

His provision for ventilation of angry feelings by the prayer of forgiveness is a provision of His goodness. He has provided a way that we need not carry feelings of anger within, that we need not store up offense after offense in the mind, that we need not suffer psychosomatic illness, and that the pressure to react sinfully to the offenses of others is taken away--all in response to the prayer in which we forgive*.

*Editorial Note: In the forgiveness of Mark 11:25, the offended person is not forgiving the offender. Instead, he is releasing to God his supposed right to get even and promising that he will treat the offender only with love. Correctly translated, Mark 11:25 reads "forgive" not "forgive him." The offender is to be forgiven only after he repents, as taught in Luke 17:3-4. For a thorough study on the important subject of forgiveness, see Forgiveness: The Power and the Puzzles by Wendell E. Miller.

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