Q. We are members of a Bible-believing church. Some in the congregation are saying cruel things about our pastor, and it seems that they are trying to make him leave. We have had pastors who were more eloquent; but he faithfully preaches the Word, and he faithfully ministers to the needs of the congregation. I am so hurt, frustrated and angry. What can I do to help our pastor? He is relatively young and inexperienced in the ministry. What counsel can I give him? What can I do about the way that this problem is affecting me?

A. There are a number of biblical principles that apply to problems of this kind. Not only are these biblical principles applicable to the questions that you have raised, but also to various problems in interpersonal relationships--especially where a loved one has been offended.

First, consider what is appropriate and discreet. Certainly you should be praying for your pastor and his wife. Perhaps you can also give help and comfort to your pastor's wife, and perhaps your husband can give help and comfort to your pastor.

However, unless your pastor has a deep respect for your husband--including both his Christian maturity and his wisdom--it may be better for some other mature Christian--even a stranger--to present the biblical principles that he should consider.

One way to help your pastor would be for your husband to give a copy of this article to your pastor, asking him to read it and see if it can be helpful. You may want to suggest this approach to your husband and discuss it with him.

In my answers to your question, I will address you, your husband, your pastor's wife, and other members of the congregation as "believers"; and I will address your pastor as "pastor." Each person who is concerned about the situation should individually consider the principles that apply to himself and act accordingly.

Jesus said, "I will build my church" (Matt. 16:18). The Scriptures also say, "Surely the wrath of man shall praise thee: the remainder of wrath shalt thou restrain" (Ps. 76:10).

Pastor, believers, you need to remember that Jesus said that the local church is His church. Also, Jesus told Soul of Tarsus that Saul was persecuting Him (Acts 9:4). So, at least a part of the offenses of these people are offenses against God, not offenses against you, pastor, and not against you, believers. Further, you need to remember that God has more power than you do; and He is able to restrain the actions of those who are making trouble in His church.

Pastor, believers, could it be that you are carrying a load that is too big for you and that does not belong to you? The Bible says, "casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you" (1 Pet. 5:7). In prayer, you should turn this burden over to the Lord; and perhaps you should confess to God that you have not been trusting Him to care for His church.

Now, believers, with regard to your concern for your pastor, it is particularly difficult to see a loved one being hurt, whether it be your pastor, marriage partner, child or parent. However, it seems that you are not trusting God to give your pastor what is best.

The Bible says that God will not allow anything into your pastor's life except those things that will work together to make him more Christlike (Rom. 8:28,29); and that the purpose in the trials is to bring praise, honor and glory to your pastor at the Judgment Seat of Christ (1 Pet. 1:7).

Believers, can you trust God to take care of your pastor? You know that He loves your pastor more than you do, and you know that He has more power to protect your pastor than you do.

Perhaps you should pray, confessing a lack of trust in God with regard to God's love for your pastor (Rom. 8:38,39), or with regard to His faithfulness in providing His promised care for your pastor (Rom. 8:28,29; I Pet. 1:7), or with regard to His ability to keep His promises for your pastor.

Pastor, believers, no doubt you know that God has commanded forgiveness upon the remembrance of the offense (Mark 11:25), but have you considered the fact that refusal to forgive is rebellion against God?

Believers, could it be that you have been thinking, "This is my church and my pastor, and they can't do this to me?" No matter how much you, your family, your parents, your grandparents, and all your clan have put into the local church through the years, remember, it is Christ's church--not yours.

Believer, perhaps you need to confess to God that you have been hurt and angry because of your pride. If so, confess your sin to God.

Pastor, could it be that you also have been thinking, "This is my church." Could it be that you have forgotten that you are only the undershepherd? Could it be that you have forgotten that you are a bondservant who was bought for a price (1 Cor. 6:19,20), and that bondservants do not have rights? Could it be that you have forgotten that you have no right to be treated better than Jesus was, but instead that it is your "right" to suffer patiently, as Jesus did (1 Pet. 2:19-21)?

Pastor, how do you feel toward the perpetrators of evil? Believer, you mentioned that you feel hurt and angry. The ones who are doing evil are out of fellowship with God. Pastor, believers, should not their spiritual condition make you sorrowful rather than hurt or angry? Pastor, believer, consider your feelings toward them; consider what has been said above, and see if there is a spiritual problem in your life that is responsible for hurt or angry feelings. Then act accordingly.

What about frustration? Pastor, believers, are you frustrated because the situation is out of your control? The situation is not out of God's control. When you turn the problem over to Him and let Him handle it, there will be no need for frustration.

Pastor, believers, are you praying for those who are causing trouble? Are you praying for their spiritual welfare, not merely praying that they will quit annoying you? Jesus commands that you love your enemies (Luke 6:27,28). He is not commanding that you "feel good" toward them, but that you do purposefully for their good. These two verses in Luke's Gospel account teach that one way to love your enemies is to pray for them.

Up to this point, pastor and believers, the advice that has been given has been directed toward 1) helping you handle the stress in a biblical manner; 2) helping you to have a Christlike attitude toward those who are causing trouble in the church; 3) helping to obviate hurt or angry feelings; and, most importantly, 4) helping you to glorify God in your life (Matt. 5:16).

Further, up to this point, pastor, I have assumed that those who are criticizing you are entirely at fault and that you are without fault. Of course, for whatever wrong they have done or are doing, they are 100 percent at fault. But, could it be that faults of yours have been a factor in the problems in the church? Pastor, consider yourself to see if you have been at fault even to a small degree; and then consider what God would have you do about it.

Pastor, have you sought counsel from those in your congregation who may have more experience and wisdom than you? Have you accepted suggestions graciously--even from those who are less experienced and knowledgeable than you? Have you been willing to do things that the official board and others have suggested? Or, have you wanted everything done your way? What attitude has the congregation seen in you?

Pastor, have you taken criticism with a spirit of humility and looked to see if there are changes that you should make in your personal life or your ministry; or have you considered that you are above criticism?

Pastor, could it be that God would have you to ask forgiveness of those who are attacking you, for something in your attitudes or actions in the past?

Remember, if you were ten percent wrong, then you were 100 percent wrong in the ten percent; and your duty is to seek reconciliation for your ten percent, not to hold the 90 percent against others.

Pastor, could it be that God would have you ask the entire congregation for forgiveness for not seeking counsel, not graciously accepting counsel, or for wanting your own way in church decisions? If you did, would it demonstrate Christlikeness to others and bring glory to God--and possibly heal the church?

Pastor, believers, how have you reacted to those who are being critical? Love "is not easily provoked"(1 Cor. 13:5), and love does not keep records of the wrongs done by others (1 Cor. 13:5 NASB).

Pastor, believers, have you been adding fuel to the controversy; or have you been letting it burn out? What have you done with regard to telling others of the actions of the offenders? Have you put a cover over the offense (1 Cor. 13:7 "beareth all things"), rather than telling others of the verbal attacks?

Pastor, have you preferred to be wronged rather than fight for your "rights"?

If it has been necessary to confront the offenders, have the confrontations been done in a spirit of reconciliation? Has the knowledge of the offense and the offenders been kept within the smallest group possible in accordance with the successive steps of Matthew 18:15-17?

Certainly, as finite beings, there are times when honest differences of opinion arise. These honest differences of opinion should be solved without pride (1 Cor. 13:4), "but in lowliness of mind" (Phil. 2:3), "preferring one another" (Rom. 12:10), and "submitting yourselves one to another" (Eph. 5:21).

Sometimes honest differences become serious contentions. The contention between Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:37-39) was so strong that they separated into two missionary groups. Each thought that he knew the best way to serve God, and it can be assumed that the cause for the contention was sinful pride. However, perhaps God worked even through this contention to work out His will.

Perhaps the Apostle Paul required more of himself and required more of others than did Barnabas. Perhaps John Mark would have experienced a second, and possibly final, failure as a missionary if Paul and Barnabas had taken him with them. Perhaps the successful discipleship of John Mark required the leadership of Barnabas apart from Paul. Could it be that God used the sincere disagreement and strong contention of Paul and Barnabas to utilize the best talents of all three parties?

Pastor, believers, what is your attitude toward those who leave to work with another group? Is there a willingness to admit that it may be the leading of the Lord? Do you rejoice with those who find a place of service with another Bible-believing church, or do you look upon them as traitors to your church? Do you pray for God's guidance and His blessings on their work? Are you ready to greet them and fellowship with them as occasions arise?

Separation into working groups that are more harmonious can be beneficial to the overall program of God. In contrast, discord and division in the local church because of pride, jealousy and personal power struggles are grievous to our Lord and to the Holy Spirit; and it is the duty of all believers to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace, except where truth and purity demand church discipline or separation.

Pastor, believers, each of you should consider the principles that have been given and determine which ones apply to yourselves. Then do whatever God would have you to do. As you act and react biblically, the offenses of others cannot keep you out of fellowship with God, and God will be glorified in your lives.

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